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The Church

WOMEN SUFFERING IN ABUSIVE MARRIAGES NEED A SAFE PLACE TO GO FOR HELP

Women Suffering in Abusive Marriages NEED Help From the Church

Abuse Effects as Many women in the Church as society at large

“Then I returned and considered all the oppression that is done under the sun: And look! The tears of the oppressed, But they have no comforter — On the side of their oppressors there is power, But they have no comforter.” Ecclesiastes 4:1

A Silenced Epidemic

ABUSE IS IN THE CHRISTIAN HOME

At the end of her rope, Mary sought her Pastors help, “Something is very wrong in my marriage. My husband is two different people. Out in public he’s funny and charming, which is the man I love. But at home he is a monster.” She went on to explain some of the horrific things her husband did behind closed doors. Her Pastor’s response was “Well, you have a problem don’t you” and sent her on her way.

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One in Four
One in Four
  • One in four women in our churches will experience physical, emotional, psychological, sexual, verbal, financial or spiritual abuse in their marriages
  • Christian women are more likely to remain or return to unsafe marriages because of their religious belief
  • Marriage is held to such a high standard that in some places of worship, evil occurring within the walls of the family home doesn’t matter
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Abuse is
NOT A Marriage Problem!

It’s perpetual unrepented sin on the part of the abuser

    • Marriage counseling will exacerbate the abuse
    • Authentic repentance from the abuser is needed BEFORE marriage restoration is possible
Actual
Advice Received
  • “Respect him more, and it will work out”
  • “You need to work on being more submissive”
  • “Read this book on how to be a better wife”
  • “Pray more, read your bible, have more sex”
  • “Just forgive and forget and you can move on”
  • “You need to attend marriage counseling together”
  • “You caused him to do this”
Abusers are
Hard to Identify
  • They know that our churches are fertile hunting grounds Christians can be kind, trusting, forgiving, and gracious. Predators can see that as a weakness to be exploited
  • Abusers use several tactics to control people and manipulate others’ perceptions

“Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly they are ravenous wolves; You will know them by their fruits.” Matt 7:15-16 NKJV

What if the Church

Stepped in and helped

  • Help bring the abuser to repentance
  • Help her find her way
  • It could lessen the trauma
  • It could minimize the impact on the children

A Place for Hope and Healing

  • Most women will seek the counsel of pastors first
  • Typically, they don’t find support, nor are they believed
  • They are sent home to potentially dangerous situations
  • By the time women reach out to someone they have already done EVERYTHING and more
  • They are not offered safety
You Are Seen
You are Known
You are NOT Alone

Jesus came for the brokenhearted and the crushed